Posts Tagged ‘husband’

Its not the same around here without you

This was supposed to have been published back in February. But never got around to it. But hey better late than never.

Ram had to go away on a month-long trip to Brisbane to train one of the new employees in his organisation. The plan was such, Ram was going to work out of the Brisbane branch for a month and I was to join him in the last week of February 2010 for a 5 day break. Fortunately he had accommodation close by and transport to work.

Left to my own devices, I obviously resorted to long phone calls with dearest hubby and skyping with my sister and emailing my family with updates often to escape the loneliness swamping me.

The separation was good and bad in its own way. For 2.5 years you have seen your hubby every single day and to have to wake up with a cold empty space next to you is awful. After returning from work, I was waiting to listen to the sound of his car reversing into the car park. Even while I knew he was not going to come home, my mind was a being stupid romantic, hopelessly anticipating his return from work. His loud clattering and clanging was sorely missed. His loud singing and ear-splitting shouts and crowing which I used to find irritating at times, made me smile. I thought even that would have been welcomed with open arms at that point in time.

But the flip side was I learned a bit more having to rely on myself solely, asked a lot more questions around to make smart decisions, became a lot more independent and felt great about it too. I was now the “Boss” of the house. (Not that I didn’t have my say! But still………..hmmmm…how silly of me :), who do I boss but myself!!!! But it was a good ego massage I tell ya 😉 ).  I could eat dinner any time I wanted without the worry of hubby dearest coming back home hungry from work. I could eat just about anything I wanted (And I pretty much lived on comfort food for a good month….Shhh!!!). Did everything at my pace or NOT!!! I had a lot more time to indulge in my hobbies having nothing else to do but stare at walls.

But nothing was the same without him around. Every single thing in our home reminded me of the warm memories  of our times together which I took comfort in but it’s still not the same.

Missing my husband won out eventually. Nothing compares to the constant teasing, arguing, bickering , nagging and loving of that of your companion. I missed him so much that I asked him everything and anything about his experiences in Brizzy just to make me feel as though I was living with him over there. And the calendar pages did tear rather slowly.

Finally all said, the distance did make us a lot closer. And like the saying goes “Absence did make our hearts grow fonder”. It was love a second time round, only this time it was across the Tasman sea.

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My friday was punctuated with “Bless You”s at work. I returned home on friday evening with a heavy cold which made my head feel like a ton of bricks. Afer watching American Idol, Ram and I had dinner,  and Ram hit the sack early as he had work the very next day. I tried sleeping, but I felt restless, I decided may as well use the time for some blogging. So I stayed on till 2am blogging and then went to sleep.

Ram goes to work for half a day on Saturdays. I slept so soundly that I barely even registered that he had left for work the next morning. I woke up about 9 ish to get some coffee and pop some Panadol. I stayed up for about 2 hours or so, checked my emails, downed some soup. I thought I must make some lunch before Ram came back around 1pm. I checked my clock -“Ok, it is 11am now. Just enough time for catching a quick snooze and if I start at 12, I can keep lunch ready for him”.

12′ o clock came and went by. I was still counting my Zz’s.

Ram returned home from work, checked on me. Saw that I was still sleeping and immediately went to the kitchen and started on lunch. He made some boiled eggs and Rasam (A South Indian specialty mixed with rice, as a part of the main course. Recipe link from my sister’s blog at the end of the post). Comfort food. Food that reminds me of home and that which really helps when you have cold and flu.

I heard the sound of the pressure cooker go off. And I am thinking in my sleep. Oh good, just one curry and some rice to cook.

Then the whistle went off again. I woke with a start with the realisation that my hubby had returned home. And I thought to myself -“Oh darn, Ram’s here. And I should have kept lunch ready half an hour ago”, squinting at the clock. I immediately sought him, gave him a quick hug and said “Sorry. I was supposed to have started on lunch an hour ago.”

Ram said -“Don’t worry about it. You are not well. I knew you would be resting”.

We sat down for lunch, put on a movie from our home collection. My first mouthful was hot Rasam mixed with rice and a bit of the boiled egg. By the time the mouthful went down my throat, my mind raced back to the moment when I sat on my grandma’s hip and was fed rasam rice and okra curry, with my paati (grandma in Tamil) telling me stories of Lord Rama and distracting me by pointing out to the crows nesting on top of coconut trees.

Crows on coconut trees

That exact same taste. That same flavour. That same aroma. I couldn’t believe it. My mind couldn’t begin to fathom the similarity of the rasam made by paati and the one made by hubby dearest. It was so alike, I immediately commented on the same. And I kept pestering Ram to tell me how he made it. I kept repeating myself – ‘How did you make it, so like Paati’s’. Come to think of it, Ram has not even met Paati. Yet he created the same flavour with his  magic wand. ‘Kai manam’ is what we say in Tamil which literally translates to ‘hand aroma/fragrance’, meaning the ability to create flavourful cooking.

It was such a simple thing yet a very emotional moment for me as paati is no more. And I couldn’t even ask her to cook that Rasam for me towards the end of her life due to her poor eyesight. Oh the love and affection she used to pour on me. It was showered on me every moment I spent with her.  And Ram brought back those cherished memories to the surface with a simple rasam on a mundane autumn afternoon.

I would like to think myself as blessed to be able to reflect on those special moments and re-live those flavours at home and who knew my husband was going to recreate this for me. Aren’t I just lucky?


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